With 2008 quickly fading into yesteryear, a word you should be punched in the
face for saying out loud, I've noticed that nobody bothers worrying about protection
anymore. While it amuses me that you expect this to be an article on why sexual
jokes aren't funny anymore, I must digress. What I'm referring to is really a hazard 
to your health. No, I'm not going off on a hyperbolic tangent, and I'm not telling you
about some useless bullshit conspiracy theories either. Try to remember the 
thoughts jogging through your own head the last time you were visiting a bad part of 
town. If you live in Ocala Florida, you should be feeling nothing but this and perhaps 
some contempt on the side.
	Why? Of course you want to know, and whether you can handle it or not, I 
AM going to tell you. Brace yourself, because now I will reveal to you all the most 
humiliating way to die on the streets of Ocala Florida.

         
LAUGHTER 

	Being happy is bad for your health. Being in a state of hysterics causes breast 
cancer, and looking at this person in more than two dimensions will make you die, of 
laughter. The fact that I have to blur this picture and stabilize it with unfunny
clown makeup makes me burst into flames, but I have to do it because I care about
your saftey. The creature you are looking at is called Michael. I prefer Mickey, as in:
tell me more about this Mickey Mouse bullshit.

	Mickey thinks. Just kidding, I wanted to start a sentence with "Mickey thinks" 
for the sake of irony. The sheer ludicrously made me stop mid sentence, I wouldn't 
publish a lie of this magnitude. Not even if you held up a portrait of our gentle
Indian companion right up to my face and rolled my eyelids back, and not to come 
off as disrespectful to the Indian people, but this asshole is making you guys look
like a bunch of Indian Assholes. Pray tell when he'll stop walking around with his
shirt off, lumps of fat and all, bobbing and weaving through shrubbery, inciting 
pointless neighborhood drama. Pugnacious fuck. After googling "Riley34470" 
several forum posts came up, a neighborhood forum. It was hard not to explode
into laughter after reading the thread "Bushmaster3965 is an idiot," either way
all the forum posts in the world wouldn't surpass the hilarity I came across the next
week. A profile on Gay.com, with Riley's interests for all to see. That was the day I
discovered that the words "bottom" and "boy" could be combined to form 
bottomboy. That is an adjective which describes a homosexual's desire to become
penetrated rather than gloriously penetrate others. So basically, Mickey shared 
with everyone the fact that he's a giant bitch who loves to have his fudge farmed
by other men. For lack of a better word: what a pussy, a hilarious, bloody pussy.

After I opened that can of worms, Mickey flipped his lid, and closed his 
subscription. Be that as it may, the fun was not even close to subsition. Mickey
still had an open account on X-tube.com, which featured videos of Mickey choking. 
No, he wasn't choking on a battery operated sex toy, he was choking his tiny 
lilliputian dick. The only way it could get any better is if Mickey had a pillow fetish.
That's got a good groove to it there, if only it were true. Oh wait, it is true. It's all
true. Damn, you just can't make this shit up. I'm all for treating minorities and only 
minorities with respect, but this is just beyond belief. Why would I want to humiliate 
someone like this? Deep down, am I the the same as our Indian companion? Why
yes, I am a gay, pugnacious closet case Indian with nothing better to do, with the 
exception of pretending to be a photographer once in a while. Selling posterized 
pictures of my oversized nose in Florida when I don't feel like selling my ass for 
money. Literally, selling my ass, for money.

	Trust me, there are only a few things funnier than watching someone
trying to crack a smile on Stickam (useless SN gimmick) after somebody reminds 
them how pathetic they are. Here's some advice to Mickey Boy: Stop lying to 
yourself, stop trying to romance underage boys, and stop pretending to be 
something you aren't: normal. Mickey recently opened another youtube account
(his first in exactly a year). His previous account was suspended for filing a falsified
DMCA takedown notice. One thing I can not understand is why Mickey would want to
remove a video that didn't offend him or affect him in any way. I could be 
overanalyzing this, but Mickey seems to be a compulsive liar. One who can't take
criticism, at that. Mickey's return motivated me to write this article, and I'll be damned
if I'm going to end it without giving Mickey some direct advice: go back to your old 
self. You can't keep up the charade for too long, you've returned as a lobotomized 
drone, talking about video codecs you're too simple-minded to understand. What
happened to that rage-filled Mickey who brought us all laughter and made us feel
better about ourselves? I don't think calling me a retard will expel all that rage Mick,
you can do better, and I give you my word, that as long you be yourself in your 
video, I solemnly swear not to EDIT TITS content. 
          

   Mickey's got some balls, either that or he has no brains. I'll go with the latter,
because I think his balls are proportionate to his dick. Today Mickey sent me a 
Youtube message:

    Internet Harrassment? I wonder if putting a minor's picture on X-tube counts as 
this "Internet Harrassment." Because that is what Mickey did, when I discovered
his shame. In due time, he removed all his X-tube videos and shut himself
down. If only there was a way to show you what Mickey was so shy about...

Suddenly, four good hyperlinks appear:

[EXPLICIT] Pillow Humper - Mediafire
[EXPLICIT] Pillow Humper - Xtube
[EXPLICIT] Get a Life and Stop Jacking It - Mediafire
[EXPLICIT] Get a Life and Stop Jacking It - Xtube

 
See, you can make a good example, Mickey.